I never was a fan of journaling nor understood why people journaled. However, when I did begin journaling, it helped me tremendously. Connie began to journal a bit while we were finishing up the book, The Courage to Be Imperfect. She was assembling ideas together for the next book she planned to write. She said journaling helped her have those thoughts written down she needed to remember instead of trying to recall things mentally.
I started to journal around the end of July 2009. At first, I did not know what to write. People tell you to journal what you are feeling. I did not follow that suggestion at first because I was concerned about the possibility of someone finding my journal with those intimate thoughts. I wondered what they would think of me and what I wrote. It took me a while to shift my perspective and realize it really did not matter because this was for my benefit not anyone else. So that perspective shift is when I really let my emotions go; there was something so therapeutic that took place.
When I journaled, I could be myself. I did not have to put on a happy face, I could be authentically with what was going on inside me. Most people were not be able to handle what I was feeling, so writing it down got it out of my head for a while. I am so glad I chose to journal because I believe the grieving process would have been a lot longer for me otherwise.
I journaled for about 3 years until I moved to Virginia. Once I got there, I felt like I was in a better place somewhat. The reason why I am writing this particular blog is because I want to incorporate some of those journal entries in next week’s blogs. I will begin with some of my journal entries that highlight what I was feeling and going through at the time. Additionally, I will incorporate some of Connie’s journal entries as well. Give me some feedback and let me know what you think of those entries.